Homeworking – the symptoms

Do you find yourself:

Engaging strangers in conversation at the checkout?

Wondering whether it’s too early to have a drink?

Wearing a scarf, fingerless gloves at your desk because you are too tight to put the heating on?

Working in bed because it’s the only warm place in the house?

Spontaneously Hoovering to avoid tackling your tax return?

Indulging in antisocial habits such as picking your nose, dunking biscuits in your tea, scratching your arse, because no one can see you?

Getting a friend or partner to email you just to check your email is working because you are worried it might not be since no one has got back to you (in fact it’s working fine)?

Accepting an invitation to a function for a kitchenware manufacturer on the other side of town just on the offchance that there might be someone there who could give you work? Or at  failing that, free food?

Going out in your slippers?

Working in your pants?

Accepting work from people you’ve sworn never to work for again after the last time they paid you below market rates and five months late?

Being surprised and annoyed when the people you’ve sworn never to work for again pay you below market rates and five months late?

Do you get excited about:

The post arriving

That invoice you’ve been chasing for five months finally being paid

Being in the black for a week

A new café opening in the neighbourhood

The children gong back to school

A Poirot you haven’t seen before

Someone actually posting something interesting/useful on Twitter

Extreme weather

An opportunity to wear heels (women)/ a shirt (men)

A scrap on ‘Women’s Hour’

Seeing that actor from Gavin and Stacey/Spooks/Holby on the high street not wearing makeup

A meeting in town

Posh teabags on special offer

… yes, you are probably a homeworker. Either someone whose work is largely home-office based, whose work is largely child-based, or whose work is largely looking for work.

You’ll probably be broke at least some of the time, and probably won’t have spoken – face to face – with another grown up today.

You’ll probably have opened this blog in desperation for someone to talk to or a displacement activity.

To all of the above, welcome.

  1. Very good Jessica – spot on! How about minimal dry cleaning bills, less shampoo and shaving foam/razors, playing records you’d forgotten you had, ditto reading books, plus not shopping for ties, shirts, trousers etc?
    Best, Andrew Pring

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