While checking my blog stats, I noticed that one of the search engine terms someone had use to arrive on my site was ‘woman suspended in air while getting toe sucked’. I can only imagine that was one bitterly disappointed Googler.
But it made me wonder what other search terms people had used to find me, and whether I might not get a bit more serious about this SEO lark. I don’t know how you got here, (apologies if a blog about being a South London cash-strapped middle class freelancer wasn’t what you had in mind, though there’s probably a niche fetish group for everything); here’s the list of random, bizarre, and at times faintly disturbing things some of the visitors to this blog have been looking for:
micro mini elephant
forehead bold
beat my meat with your feet
rear drive pedalo
where does Jarvis Cocker hang out in Paris
felting old jumpers (great name for a band?)
Heygate estate postcode
become a deathmachine
rubber band chair
smiley potato merchant Perth
grapescissors
cats and watermelons
gay bar Ealing
knuckle duster potato
Suzi Feay fetish (and I thought her blog was about books!)
traffic light pie at school
OK, four of the above have actually been mentioned in the past, but I don’t imagine many SEO consultants are recommending their clients start repeating the phrases ‘rubber band chair’, grape scissors’, ‘cats and watermelons’ or ‘traffic light pie’ in their posts.
I tried to find out what the most searched for words on Google are, but no one could offer a definitive answer. Other than the obvious ‘sex’, ‘porn’, ‘free’, and ‘restaurant’, I suspect the phrase ‘most searched for words on Google’ is probably quite high up there – ‘Googled’ is now one of the most common words in the English language, apparently, according to one online source I can’t be arsed to verify. So I’ll probably stick that on as a headline. See what happens.
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